When Good Trees Go Bad

Saturday, December 6th, 2003 • 2 Comments on When Good Trees Go Bad

I decorated three Christmas trees in three days this week.  One of them—mine—fell over.  I do not think it was a result of my decorating.  It is a big, broad, fat tree.  A plus-sized tree.  A tree that should shop at the Men’s Big and Tall Shop (or Lane Bryant, if it’s a girl, which I don’t think it is).  A tree so mighty, my twenty-pound cast iron stand could not keep it standing.  It fell with a crash and a jingle of bells at 2:30 in the morning the day after I put it up.  Why do things like that never happen during the day?  I was awake, I was annoyed.  The tree is standing again, but I think it is beginning to list to one side and I’m not hopeful of it remaining upright.  It is a big, broad, fat, drunken tree.  About thirty ornaments fell off, which I will rehang just as soon as a) I have time and b) I’m convinced the tree isn’t going to toss back a bottle of tequila and take another header.  Big, broad, fat, drunken, bad

tree and it is mine, so I love it anyway.

The other two trees, library trees, are still standing because there is no tequila in the library.

Posted by Kristina in Musings
  • Jay says:

    So no tequila in the library, what’s up with that?  Libraries are to be fun places!

  • Rose says:

    Yeah, right. No tequila. But you neglected to mention the rum, schnapps and vodka in silver flasks next to the printer for quick nips. No wonder the library makes so much money on print-outs lately!

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