Disney Redux

Thursday, February 12th, 2004 • 1 Comment on Disney Redux

I probably should have checked my bag for my flight to Disney World.  Why do I think this?  Because at 3 a.m. the night before I left, I was seriously contemplating the question, “Do I really need to floss on vacation?” because dental floss would add weight to the bag.  I took the floss, though.  I also checked my bag on the return trip.

Disney World is that odd combination of vacation wonderland and nightmare.  If you are childless, it can be quite an event navigating hotels, theme parks and restaurants what with all the whining, screaming and pouting.  And I’m talking about the adults, not the children.  What is it about Disney World that makes parents think every moment must be filled with joy and excitement?  The phrase, “We are going to have fun!” should not be an ultimatum.

People who dress up in animal costumes scare me.  This is a new phobia.  I had my picture taken with a giant furry bear and I’m having nightmares.

You have not truly lived until you have ridden a bus with a singing Latina bus driver named Rosalita.  Her version of Bingo goes: “There was a mouse who had a dog and Pluto was his name-O.”  Fun stuff, even sober.

I have determined that the Magic Kingdom is a dry park because otherwise parents would leave their children on The Ride to Hell (otherwise known as It’s a Small World) while they did tequila shots with Mickey.  It’s a Small World is the longest, most boring, tedious amusement park ride in the world and I love it dearly.  I hope they never get rid of it.  I’m still mourning the loss of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

Motion sickness is a very evil thing.  When I get my pictures developed, I’ll post a picture to prove it.  (Kidding, Rose.  Just kidding.  Maybe.) 

It’s nice to know I’m not the only insomniac in the world.  I met some interesting people sitting by the pool at 2:30 in the morning. 

Drinks at Pleasure Island are very expensive and very potent.  Go Disney.

Rose is the very best person to stand in line with while singing along and dancing to 80s tunes sung by a guy in a purple wig and punk glasses.  Even if she was sober and I wasn’t.  Maybe especially because she was sober and I wasn’t.  That’s love, right there.

And now for all the rest:

Best meal:  Eggplant Parmesan at Mama Melrose’s, MGM

Best dessert: Chocolate cake at Planet Hollywood

Best drink: Rum runners at the Adventure Club

Best other dessert: Soft serve ice cream in Animal Kingdom

Best other drink: Cool Runnings rum runners at Planet Hollywood

Best Animal Experience:  The bat cave in Animal Kingdom

Best Traveling Experience:  Express check-in at the airport

Best Waitperson:  J.T. at Planet Hollywood

Best Thrill Ride: Twilight Zone Tower of Terror

Best Actress in a Dramatic Role:  Rose for convincing me she was feeling fine before we got on Tower of Terror

Posted by Kristina in Essays, Life
  • Rose says:

    Best Hair Wrap Person: what’s her face that goes on the bus with Three Doors Down.

    Best Ride(s): Big Thunder Mountain followed by Buzz Lightyear.

    Best Friend to put up with sick comrades who puke on airplanes and get sick at the happiest place on earth: Kris

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