Tuesday, June 15th, 2004 • No Comments on Success is More Than a Paycheck
Several people close to me are in the midst of or are preparing for life-changes. I’m essentially doing the same thing I was doing when I moved to Virginia nearly four years ago, and I suppose that means it may be my turn for some sort of life-change soon. It’s interesting how my career and educational goals have kind of fallen by the wayside, but it doesn’t really bother me. I know I will get where I want to go… in time.
The past few years of my life have been focused on building—and rebuilding—relationships. I didn’t really intend it, it just sort of happened. All the relationships I have are stronger than they were four years ago—and the relationships I’ve developed in the past few years feel solid and long term. I am back in touch with old friends and I have new friends who are like family. I’ve been married for almost fourteen years and Jay is still putting up with my moody, free spirited ways. Believe me, I wouldn’t want to live with me. It must be love.
I spent a good portion of my life keeping people at a distance. It’s safe, but it’s lonely. I’m not doing that anymore—at least not consciously. Not having the real family bonds most people have and not having children of my own has given me a rare opportunity to give more of myself to other people than I might otherwise have to give. And it feels good, this giving. It feels right.
When I die, I want to have a string of letters after my name and a stack of books with my face on the back cover. I also want to be missed.