I Still Have Questions

Thursday, September 23rd, 2004 • 4 Comments on I Still Have Questions

I’m sure you remember my recent post about how I have questions.  Sitting under a sign that says Questions makes me… well, it makes me question things.  So, because it’s 1:30 a.m. and I can’t write anything more coherent, here are my questions for tonight:

—Why do men feel the need to take up as much space as possible, regardless of where they are?  Movie theater, airplane, doctor’s waiting room—it doesn’t matter.  Men seem to have a compelling urge to stretch out and splay their legs as if they’re getting ready to ride an elephant.  Why is that?  And why do I, as a woman, not only have to sit demurely with my legs crossed, but also tolerate the guy sitting next to me who is encroaching on my space?

—Was Jerry Lewis

ever

funny?  Really?

—What the

hell

is caffeine?  And why isn’t it illegal?  I had less than five hours’ sleep last night, I’ve been up for going on 20 hours and I’m bouncing off the walls.  Tell me that shouldn’t be illegal.

—Does anyone else think watching Sex and the City on TBS is like having sex while wearing a wetsuit?  You’re going through the motions, but somehow, something just doesn’t feel quite right.

—Who decided Halloween colors should be orange and black?  I understand the black—dark, mysterious, sinister—but what’s with the orange?  Ist it just because of pumpkins?

—Am I the only one who feels like the Gilmore Girls have taken a wrong turn in having Rory lose her virginity to her married ex-boyfriend?  The girl’s nineteen, so I can accept her having sex (grudgingly), but this is Stars Hollow, not Beverly Hills 90210.

—At what age is a woman too old to read Cosmo?  I’m starting to feel like a perv looking at the pictures of nearly naked twenty year old boys.  Unfortunately, I don’t think my subscription runs out until 2034, so what’s a girl to do?  Ogle twenty year old boys through my bifocals, I guess.

—That commercial?  For the Sims?  (Or Sims 2?)  With the little lifelike dolls running around?  Creepy.  (I know that wasn’t really a question.  Call it creative license.)

—Did you ever think there was some magic age when you would know all the answers to all the questions and life would make sense?  Yeah, me too.  What a letdown.

Those are my questions for tonight.  Stop by tomorrow, I’ll probably have a few more.

Posted by Kristina in Musings
  • Carrie says:

    I am so with you on about 75% of those questions! My assumptions:
    —Men take up room because they like to think they are bigger than they are and therefore need more space. That and us women are too nice to demand they get out of our space (at least I am).
    —I can’t deal with caffeine. Makes me twitchy and antsy. Horrible drug.
    —Sex in the City on TBS is such a tease. They leave out critical bits. If I hadn’t already watched the episodes, I would have no idea what was going on. Did you see last night with Miranda and the tissues. Oh my.
    —I think the orange for Halloween is about pumpkins but also the changing leaves. I do NOT understand all the purple that is associated with Halloween.
    —Gilmore Girls used to be all innocent and witty, but now its borderline trashy. I secretly like it. I somehow think its more realist for her to finally have screwed up. We were all secretly wishing for her to do something bad, thats was why I was rooting for Jess. Ah, Jess. What girl doesn’t want a bad boy?
    —You are never too old to read Cosmo. You just look at it as a different means of entertainment. It used to be insight and advice, now its humorous and trashy.
    —Sims 2 commercials: totally creepy. And I don’t even really get it.
    —What do you mean there isn’t an age when all becomes clear? Damn! I was still hoping to reach it!
    (Sorry if I went on too long! Opps!)

  • Robert says:

    Men are neanderthals who must stake out their territory.

  • Jay says:

    Men take up so much room because of society. In the Far East men don’t do that.  Our society expects men to be larger than life so we take up more room.  Not a good reason, but it’s the one I’m sticking with. 

    For the other questions… Call a reference person!

  • Jae says:

    —Some animals piss in corners to claim their territory, men spread out. 
    -T-H-I-S—I-S—M-I-N-E-
    I think it is also the whole idea that men are supposed to be big- strong.  I mean, the whole penis thing sums it up, yes?

    —Jerry Lewis was scary, not funny!

    —Smoke some pot.  That will relax you.  Ah!  Forget coffee. 

    —Some people might enjoy sex in a wetsuit- latex.  Isn’t that a fetish?

    —Where else are you going to put orange?  It needed a holiday, too.  All the other colors were making fun of it. “Ha, Ha, you don’t have a holiday.  You’re nothing,” said red and green.  Now they can’t say that, right!

    —I hate Gilmore Girls.  I always thought that girl was annoying egocentric.  It’s nice to know she’s also a whore.

    —How sick is it that I’m happy that Lindsey Lohan turned 18.  I saw her on SNL and thought she was hot- little did I know she was only 17 at the time.  EWW!  Look at 20 year old boys all you like. 

    —That commercial? For the Sims? Well, I hate the asprin commercial with the guy who doesn’t know what fast means.  “It says fast.  What is fast?”  SHUT THE HELL UP DUDE! 

    —The girl on Gilmore Girls seems to have all the insight on all the questions in the world.  As her, if you can get the whore out of bed with the married man.

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