Thursday, September 23rd, 2004 • 4 Comments on I Still Have Questions
I’m sure you remember my recent post about how I have questions. Sitting under a sign that says Questions makes me… well, it makes me question things. So, because it’s 1:30 a.m. and I can’t write anything more coherent, here are my questions for tonight:
—Why do men feel the need to take up as much space as possible, regardless of where they are? Movie theater, airplane, doctor’s waiting room—it doesn’t matter. Men seem to have a compelling urge to stretch out and splay their legs as if they’re getting ready to ride an elephant. Why is that? And why do I, as a woman, not only have to sit demurely with my legs crossed, but also tolerate the guy sitting next to me who is encroaching on my space?
—Was Jerry Lewis
is caffeine? And why isn’t it illegal? I had less than five hours’ sleep last night, I’ve been up for going on 20 hours and I’m bouncing off the walls. Tell me that shouldn’t be illegal.
—Does anyone else think watching Sex and the City on TBS is like having sex while wearing a wetsuit? You’re going through the motions, but somehow, something just doesn’t feel quite right.
—Who decided Halloween colors should be orange and black? I understand the black—dark, mysterious, sinister—but what’s with the orange? Ist it just because of pumpkins?
—Am I the only one who feels like the Gilmore Girls have taken a wrong turn in having Rory lose her virginity to her married ex-boyfriend? The girl’s nineteen, so I can accept her having sex (grudgingly), but this is Stars Hollow, not Beverly Hills 90210.
—At what age is a woman too old to read Cosmo? I’m starting to feel like a perv looking at the pictures of nearly naked twenty year old boys. Unfortunately, I don’t think my subscription runs out until 2034, so what’s a girl to do? Ogle twenty year old boys through my bifocals, I guess.
—That commercial? For the Sims? (Or Sims 2?) With the little lifelike dolls running around? Creepy. (I know that wasn’t really a question. Call it creative license.)
—Did you ever think there was some magic age when you would know all the answers to all the questions and life would make sense? Yeah, me too. What a letdown.
Those are my questions for tonight. Stop by tomorrow, I’ll probably have a few more.