Thursday, February 3rd, 2005 • 6 Comments on Hey, Coffee Guy! Who Are You?
When you go somewhere (Barnes and Noble Bookstore Cafe) often enough (3+ times a week), you get to know the people who work there. Sometimes (if you’re lucky), they get to know you, too (which can translate into special treatment, like extra chocolate on your frappucino or a grande instead of a tall). Of course, that’s only a good thing if you’re a nice customer and not too demanding. Otherwise, they might spit in your coffee. (Ewww… moving on… )
So, as it often happens (sometimes sadly, sometimes not), coffee people (barristas, if you want to get fancy) come and go. I’ve seen more good ones than bad ones go, unfortunately (it seems good help is hard to find, even in a lousy economy).
There was a time when I knew the coffee people by name. Samantha, Jon, Brandon, Amanda, Derrick… it was easy to learn their names because they wore name tags. No longer, it seems. Perhaps they were tired of people calling them by name (“Hey, Becky, what’s the difference between a latte and an espresso?”), perhaps they were tired of being blamed for things, (“It was Rafael who spit in my coffee!”), perhaps it’s a new cafe policy (Barrista Incognito).
Whatever the reason, it’s now harder for me to know my coffee people by name. I either have to ask (which seems forward and somewhat stalker-like) or I have to be sneaky and listen to their conversations (which can be, um, surprisingly entertaining). I am not stalker-like (okay, just that once, but I respect the restraining order). I am, however, sneaky.
Today, I discovered that one of my coffee guys is named Eric. (Hello, Eric, young coffee guy with big scary things in your ears!) I did not, however, discover the name of my #1 (currently) coffee guy who seems to practically live at the Barnes and Noble Bookstore Cafe. The man is a coffee
god. He rocks the Barnes and Noble Bookstore Cafe with his coffee making skills. He knows his beans, I’m telling you. I know good coffee and this guy makes good
I do not, however, know his name. (He is the Nameless Barrista. The Nameless Joking Barrista. The Nameless Joking Movie Critic Barrista. Ah, let’s just call him Coffee Guy, shall we?) He sort of looks and/or sounds like an actor, but I can’t figure out who. I keep wanting to ask him, “Hey, Coffee Guy, who do you look like?” But, knowing him, he’s likely to say, “My grandfather.” So, I’ve tried to be sneaky and figure out what his name is, but to no avail. No one calls him by his name, at least not when I’m around. (Maybe
knows his name. Hmm… )
However, today while drinking my rockin’ white chocolate mocha that was both very yummy and also successful at prying open my very sleepy eyelids, Coffee Guy crept up behind me (Okay, okay, he walked, but this is a mystery and
creeps in a mystery.) and said, “Are you Kristina Wright?”
Now, I know what you’re thinking, but no, I’m not
that famous. Only you lovely readers (all twelve of you), know who I am and I bet half of you wouldn’t recognize me in person (including some of you who have seen me in person). No, it seems Coffee Guy not only makes bitchin’ coffee (yeah, I wasn’t sure about the bitchin’ either, but what story isn’t improved by an 80’s reference?), he can also read
. And no, he wasn’t reading some of my lesbian smut. (Or any of my other smut, either.) He was reading over my shoulder (Rude? Maybe. But he does make bitchin’ coffee and thus can be forgiven for this one minor transgression.) and saw the header for this page.
Of course, I responded, “Yes.” (Followed by, “Don’t tell the Feds I’m here.”) To which Coffee Guy responded, “Cool. I like your layout.” (He is a barrista of few words.)
So, if Coffee Guy happens to stop by here out of curiosity(what are the odds?), I’m hoping he’ll tell me his name and what actor he looks like. Because, to be honest, I won’t be able to sleep otherwise.
Oh, wait, that’s probably because of the bitchin’ coffee.