Wednesday, February 8th, 2006 • No Comments on You Know You’re A Successful Erotica Writer When…
—You’ve seen naked pictures of your editor(s).
—You’re three degrees of separation from any porn star.
—A straight guy tells you about sitting on the lap of a lesbian Santa and you get excited about the gender-bending implications.
—A cute, gay bartender flirts with your straight, male, police officer friend and you decide to write a story about it.
—You get annoyed at the Overstock.com commercial because of their use of the letter “O” for anything other than “orgasm.”
—You watch The L-Word and think, “Shane with a strap-on. Now
—You can deduct all sorts of “adult” things on your taxes, but you don’t because you’re afraid you’ll get audited.
—You think someone should write an empowering, pro-sex version of The Vagina Monologues—and you contemplate being the one to do it.
—You look at porn on the internet and call it “research.”
—You get weird “fan mail” with requests for “personal” stories about yourself and your “fan.” (Yes, ewww…)
—You get invitations to sex parties. (Yes, really.)
—You know several people who’ve appeared on HBO’s Real Sex. You’ve even received Christmas cards from a couple of them.
—When someone asks what you write, you contemplate their relationship to you and their susceptibility to a heart attack before you tell them the truth.
—You’re not the least bit embarrassed to cash a check with the word “EROTICA” written in big letters in the memo section.
—You have no problem writing explicit erotic scenes while sitting in the Barnes and Noble Bookstore Cafe surrounded by mothers with toddlers.
—You’ve gotten used to personal questions about your own sexuality and sex life from people who would be offended if you asked the same of them.
—You no longer feel the need to defend what you write because you know writing about sex is important and meaningful and educational and fun.