Beware the Moose

Tuesday, January 9th, 2007 • No Comments on Beware the Moose

The Backstory

I received the following e-mail from Sheri this morning:

Maybe it’s because I watched “The Stand” marathon this weekend, but Austin’s dead birds and stinky New York are freaking me out.  How was your weekend?

I responded that she must be speaking in some strange code because I had no idea what she was talking about.  She then sent me two links to news stories about the dead birds in Austin and the strange odor in New York.  I suggested she stop reading and look for old 80’s music videos on YouTube.

Fast forward a few hours.  I’m sitting at the bookstore, drinking my coffee, trying to motivate myself to write.  I text Sheri.  She texts me.  Back and forth we go. 


The conversation

(or, The Art of Creative Procrastination):

Me:  Did you hear?  The sky is falling!

Sheri:  Are you mocking me?

Me:  Mock you?  Never!  I did hear there is an unusually high number of moose in Yellowstone this winter.  Isn’t that one of the signs of the apocalypse?  Plague, locusts, firestorms, moose.  Right?

Sheri:  Ha. Ha.  You’re so funny.

Me:  Oh no!  Oh, this is scary!  The sun is going DOWN!

Sheri:  Rude.  You’ll be sorry when the raccoons revolt.

Me:  The raccoons are my minions.  It is good to have minions during the apocalypse.  The only problem is if there is a banana shortage due to the firestorms.

Sheri:  And what happens when there’s a turf war between the kids in the house and the raccoons?  You’ll totally be a pawn.  Then you’ll be sorry for sure.

Me:  They will eat me first, of course.  But it is a better way to die than being trampled by moose.

Sheri:  Maybe you could befriend the moose.  Give them PB&J sandwiches.  I hear they prefer Jif.  They’re choosy.

Me:  Good idea.  But what about the prairie dogs?  I fear the prairie dogs.

Sheri:  Stay off the prairie and you’ll be fine.

Me:  You’re so smart.  I guess that’s why you wear the aluminum foil hat.  It’s very striking.  And shiny.

Sheri:  Thank you.  It matches my fillings that I use to talk to the aliens.

Me:  So you’re smart AND stylish!  You’re my hero.  You, and the park ranger who told me about the moose.

The End.

I got several hours of writing in, despite the amusing distraction, and picked up this book to send Sheri.  You know, just in case.

Posted by Kristina in Musings

I'm a writer, editor, blogger, mama, wife and coffee lover.