Girl Crushes

Saturday, June 16th, 2007 • 2 Comments on Girl Crushes

I was reading Jen’s other blog, Perchance to Be, and came across a post about her favorite blogs.  Mine is one of her three favorite personal blogs.  Wooo!

2. Musings of an Insomniac Writer
Because I have a huge girl crush on Kristen, she is witty, intelligent, confident, sexy and someone I want to be more like someday.

Okay, so she spelled my name wrong.  I can forgive that, given all the nice things she said about me.  Truth is, I read Jen’s blog(s) and marvel at how fabulous she is.  She makes me laugh and is so darn enthusiastic about life, it’s impossible to read her and not smile.  She loves her job, does all sorts of fun things, plus, she cooks.  I mean, serious cooking and baking.  The girl is a wonder.  I’d marry her.

Jen’s post made me think about the women bloggers I know and how much I admire them and how they inspire me and my writing.  I never thought to call them girl crushes, but that’s exactly what they are.

I started blogging in the first place because of a woman.  I’d been reading Mary Anne’s blog for years and admired her transparency as a writer.  It’s a brave and scary thing to put your life out there for the world to read, but Mary Anne has been doing it for over a decade.  She is a fabulous author, but it is her day-to-day blog that inspires me most.  She writes about everything from what she made for dinner (here is another woman who can seriously cook!) to her complicated love life.  She recently had a beautiful baby girl and I’m enjoying the glimpses into little Kavi’s life.  Mary Anne is like Jen, she can do a dozen things in the time it takes me to do just one.  This woman was blogging in the hospital after a C-section!  She is my hero.

Heather is another writer I’ve been reading for years.  Her honesty is painful to read sometimes, but I always read.  I’ve followed her since the early days of Scarlet Letters (and had a couple of stories published there) and watched her build an amazing sex education site for teens at Scarleteen.  Now she has a book out—a book that took years of blood, sweat and tears to get published—and I couldn’t be more happy for her.  Combine her fierce activism with her stunning photography and the fact that she’s a beautiful kickboxing redhead and, yeah, I crush pretty hard on Heather.

I started reading Jane way back when and had my first erotica story published in her e-zine (which no longer exists, but was a part of Jane’s Guide).  She had another blog, in another life, called All I Need Is Everything and now she blogs (sporadically, unfortunately) with her husband Elliot at Lifelong Fling.  Her writing is honest, sometimes painfully so, and her insights and experiences have inspired me in a dozen different ways.

Another inspiration—and perhaps the only blogger who has made me snort soda out my nose—is Julia over at Tequila Mockingbird.  She stopped writing for a long stretch (two years!), but she’s back, hopefully for a long time.  I also hope there is a book deal for this woman out there somewhere because, seriously, she deserves it.  Funny, witty, sarcastic, insightful.  Follow this link and scroll down the post “every day I do not get fired is a freaking christmas miracle.”  I snorted and I’m not too proud to admit it.  I love her. 

I can’t figure out Zulieka—is she real, is she fiction, is she a figment of her own imagination?—but I wish I could write like her.  She is another woman whose words sometimes make me cringe, but I can’t help but keep reading.  Stark naked honesty, sometimes while she’s stark naked.  An intriguing enigma, an exotic beauty, a heartwrenchingly sad woman.  She haunts me.

Suzanne is like an old friend I’ve known forever, as comfortable and familiar as a favorite old concert T-shirt.  That may sound insulting, but Suzanne would understand.  I am sad when she loses a pet, happy when she visits with her son.  I follow along as she lives her life in a different part of Virginia, worried when she doesn’t post for awhile, relieved when she pops back up to share her adventures.  She’s witty and smart and caring and tough and she can Build Things.  She also has very cool hair. 

Then there are the erotica writers who blog—those other women who also run around using their real names—and keep me entertained and motivated when I could care less about writing.  Alana and Shanna do it differently, but they keep on doing it as themselves.  It’s nice not to feel so alone out here.  Of course, to simply call them “erotica writers” is like calling Madonna a singer, because they are—and do—so much more.  I’m impressed with their credentials, their style, their honesty.

There are others, of course.  Those I’ve read almost since I discovered the internet (and I do believe Mary Anne was one of the first writers to keep a journal on the internet, long before the term “blogger” came into existence) and those I’ve only recently stumbled across.  Those who are writers and blog on the side and those who are bloggers and don’t realize they’re gifted storytellers. 

This list wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention Joanne, the only woman on my blogroll I know personally.  Joanne and I go way back, back before there were even dinosaurs.  Okay, only twenty-three years back, but still.  Joanne is an amazing, gifted photographer—a “struggling artist,” she says—but like all the other women I’ve written about, she is so much more.  She is stronger than she realizes, more talented than she will ever give herself credit and, once upon a time, she was there for me when I needed her most.  Her personality doesn’t come through in her words, you have to look to her photographs for that: black and white and shades of gray and splashes of color and startling moments of surprise and silliness and fleeting glimpses of loneliness and longing.  It’s all there, in her art: her heart, her soul, her honesty, like all the women bloggers I’ve crushed on over the years, who put themselves into their work and fling it out into the world.  They are all amazing, these women I know and wish I knew.

Thanks for inspiring this rambling post, Jen.  It’s nice knowing you.

Posted by Kristina in Life
  • Alana says:

    Hey K, I was trying to remember Heather Corrina’s name the other day, and I couldn’t remember, and it was driving me crazy! Thank you. All is well now. grin

    I also read Mary Anne’s journal which seems like MANY years ago, and I also sent her a potential hopeful for Aqua Erotica, which she graciously rejected.

    Man. You took me back. Wow.

    Thanks for the mention here.

    By the way, you and Shanna must be the two most published ladies in the erotica universe. Bam!

  • Jennifer says:

    Sheepish All Things!!! I can’t believe I put Kristen up there in the first place (my friend Kristen must have been on my mind!) So sorry!

    But thank you for the kind words and for a bunch of new blogs to read smile

I'm a writer, editor, blogger, mama, wife and coffee lover.