Saturday, August 9th, 2008 • No Comments on Symptoms (5w0d)
I’m five weeks pregnant today. That hardly seems like much at all, but I feel like I’ve known for a very long time. According to one of the multitude of pregnancy sites, baby is the size of a sesame seed now. Last week, baby was the size of a poppy seed. What’s in store for next week, a sunflower seed? Interesting, this comparison to seeds. Also, I really need to come up with a better nickname than “baby.”
I’ve been trying to sort out what might be legitimate pregnancy symptoms from just my body doing it’s thing. So far, my breasts are PMSy tender. I’m tired all the freakin’ time (which I keep saying is just me being lazy, but I really do hate feeling like I have no energy). For the past three days, I’ve had a little queasiness. I wouldn’t call it nausea or even morning sickness, just the feeling I get when I’ve been in the sun too long or haven’t eaten in awhile. A little food in my stomach seems to take care of it. I’m hopeful that I won’t get full-blown morning sickness. Aches and pains are manageable, but I have a tough time functioning with nausea. We’ll see.
The most worrisome symptom is the cramping I’m getting every once in awhile. It feels suspiciously like menstrual cramps, so every time I go to the bathroom I expect to see blood. Always the researcher, I’ve read that cramping is normal… but normal can feel scary. I try not to worry, but I think part of me isn’t fully committed to this pregnancy yet. I’m afraid to get my hopes up, knowing the statistics and the risks. Part of me feels guilty about that, as if I’m not really wanting to be pregnant and if I don’t want to be pregnant, maybe I can influence something “bad” to happen. They say you get irrational (crazy) during pregnancy and since that is a completely irrational thought, I guess they’re right.
But I’ve made it to week five and my symptoms are practically nonexistent. I suppose there’s a good chance this is the calm before the storm, but I can hope. I really would like to get my energy back, though. There’s so much to do and suddenly I feel like I’m on a very tight deadline.