Saturday, September 27th, 2008 • No Comments on Just Tired
I have been exhausted for two months. I cannot remember the last day I felt well-rested. I have threatened Jay with leaving him to take care of the pets and checking into a hotel for a couple of nights after he gets home (in ten days!) so I can sleep. I am not kidding. Right now, the idea of a couple nights (I would settle for one) of ten to twelve hours of blissful, uninterrupted sleep holds more appeal than, well, just about anything.
I have never slept well, not even when I was a kid. I have a love/hate relationship with insomnia and have learned to live with it. It’s a part of who I am. Being a little tired doesn’t bother me. But when natural insomnia (for lack of a better term) is combined with other factors—emotional stuff, physical stuff, grumpy confined dog (or cat) stuff—I get even less sleep. That’s where I’ve been for the past couple of months, feeling as if I’m always trying to catch up on sleep. I try not to nap, but some days I have to, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to function at all.
People who are used to getting seven, eight, even nine hours of uninterrupted sleep every night marvel at how I manage on so little sleep. I don’t know how… I just do. But this week has been particularly bad for me because of Henry and his “two person” care. One night, I only managed two two-hour naps—midnight to 2 AM and 6 to 8 AM. One night, I actually slept from midnight until almost 6 AM with only two brief wake-ups because Annabelle was meooooowing at me. Last night, I got about six hours (with several wake-ups, but it was still six hours in bed!) and then took a two hour nap after I got Henry taken care of and everyone fed. It was my best night in awhile, but I’m still exhausted because I need more than one night to feel rested.
So, the point to this sleepy rant? Just that, damn, I’m tired.