Thursday, January 1st, 2009 • 1 Comment on Not Resolutions
So yeah, I opted out of making resolutions for 2009. Other than that one below about writing. I’m going to focus on the writing in 2009 and let the rest of my life happen as it will. Sure, I could say I’ll learn some new hobby, but if something strikes my fancy I’ll do it and I don’t need to make it a resolution. I could resolve to take an art class or music class or martial arts class, but who knows how my mind will be inspired this year? I could say I’m going to get pregnant/have a baby, but that’s really not entirely up to me, is it? I could dedicate 2009 to clearing out the clutter—but I’ve been working on that for six months so I’m not likely to stop now.
I could say I’ll buy a new house, but I might just end up redecorating the one I have now—or buying a vacation cottage or simply being content with decorating a baby’s room. I could vow to eat healthier and take better care of myself, but health isn’t a number on a scale, nor should it be a resolution—it should just be. I am already actively working toward my goal to pay off our credit card debt, so there’s no need to make that a resolution. I want to travel in 2009, but—again—there are factors that might get in the way of that and I wouldn’t mind one bit.
I guess the point is, I’m not looking to change my entire life in 2009. I am content with who I am—more content than most people I know—so I’m not out to reinvent myself. I just want it to be a happy year, in whatever form that takes. Being happy isn’t changing my life or my hair or my body or my friends, it’s just… being happy. Being happy with who I am and where I am. I’ve always been pretty happy with my life and despite the disappointments and pitfalls of 2008, I’m still pretty happy with my life. New things, new people, new activities aren’t going to make me any happier—they’re just going to distract me from what real happiness should be. Too many people fill their days (and datebooks) with events and appointments and meetings and equate that with success. That’s not success, it’s just being too busy to realize there’s anything else in life. I sometimes think the busiest people are the ones who are the least happy.
I want 2009 to be a happy year. That’s all.
write more in 2009. I will write a lot more. Because I can, because I should, because it is one of the fundamental things that makes me happy. I will write as much as I can, as well as I can. That may not mean writing every day (which was one of my resolutions for 2008) or cracking the literary market. It may not mean impressing anyone but myself with what I write. But I will write and I will make myself happy with what I write.
And maybe that’s the most important thing I need to remember in 2009. To make myself happy. Period.
P.S. If I was going to make a resolution, I might steal this one from Nikki: “I shall fail more often. More spectacularly. And I’ll fully appreciate the nuances of the hundred different ways to fail.” This is a wonderful way to look at life—to stretch and challenge myself, to discover the obstacles and try to hurdle them, to recognize the true colors of people so I can avoid them, to push beyond my own capabilities and come up short, but maybe not as short as I might have imagined. Failure can be a good thing. Nothing worth having comes easy. That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger—or maybe stranger.