Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 • No Comments on I Am Already a Bad Mother (8w0d)
I’m only eight weeks pregnant and I’m already a bad mother because I haven’t named my embryo. Other pregnant women give their little future children cute names like “Bean” and “Bug” and “Squiggle.” These names are apparently based on what they see on the ultrasound—kind of like a maternal Rorschach Test. My friend Wendy, who is just a little over ten weeks pregnant, calls her fetus “Peanut.” See? Cute.
I sent Sheri a picture of my ultrasound and called it a blob, but that’s not much of a nickname, is it? Plus, it doesn’t really look like a blob (which I keep typing as “blog” anyway, so definitely not a good nickname). In fact, in the first ultrasound picture, I kind of thought it looked like a baby. Curled up and a little fuzzy around the edges, but still a baby. “Baby” isn’t a good nickname, either.
Jay calls the embryo by whatever size it is based on the pregnancy tracker he has downloaded to his iPod Touch (or “Little Guy”). This week, it’s the size of a raspberry. Last week, it was the size of a blueberry. The week before… I think it was an apple seed? Or was it a poppy seed? I can’t even remember! Bad mother. The fruit nicknames are kind of cute, but at some point “Raspberry” becomes “Watermelon” and that’s really not a nickname I want to embrace.
My embryo is nameless and I’m a bad mother. What’s worse, I doubt I’ll pick a real name for the kid until he’s arrived in the world. I like the old days when you could take the baby home and take some time to choose a name. Now, they won’t let you leave the hospital until you’ve officially named the kid. I’m a big believer in waiting to name a baby until its been born, which is why I won’t be calling my stomach Stephanie or Tyler. What if I look at him and he just doesn’t look like a Matthew? What if she cries when I call her Persephone?
I’m hoping that when the time comes I will look into that little face and he or she will tell me what his or her name is. I’m just hoping it’s not Blob.