Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 • 1 Comment on Saying Goodbye to 2009
I don’t know if I even dare come up with a list of resolutions for 2010. I wrote a post called Not Resolutions at the start of this year because I failed so spectacularly at my resolutions for 2008. My only goals for 2009 were to be happy and write more. Hmm. Well. I suppose I set the bar a bit too high, still. There has certainly been happiness in 2009 and I will try to remember that as the year closes out, even while I’m feeling a certain kind of soul-deep melancholy for things that might have been. And I find a certain happiness in looking forward to what will be…
I did not write more in 2009—I think this may have been the worst writing year I’ve had in a very long time. Pregnancy and baby seemed to suck my creative energy away and the writing suffered. Frustrating, but something I can forgive myself for as it’s not likely to happen again.
2009 was a year of firsts for me, in ways I never imagined a year ago. I had a piece of nonfiction published in a book for the first time. I was thrilled that my essay “The Last Letter” was chosen for inclusion in the collection P.S. What I Didn’t Say. The sale was very special to me, but also bittersweet.
I also added the title anthologist to my resume in 2009 with the sale of Fairy Tale Lust to Cleis Press. My first anthology won’t debut until 2010, but I’ve already gone through most of the firsts of putting it together and it’s been a delightful experience. I’m looking forward to editing more anthologies for Cleis.
Then there were the non-writing firsts. Pregnancy firsts—starting with making it past the first trimester—and baby firsts. It was an amazing ride from the end of March when I found out I was pregnant to Patrick’s birth earlier this month. Terrifying and exhilarating and often exhausting, but I’m so glad I didn’t miss out on this experience. I could have done without some of the not so fun firsts of induction, surgery and hospital stay, but in the great scheme of things, most of the firsts have been positive. Even my first ever diaper change, four days after Patrick was born (I managed to postpone the inevitable until I got home from the hospital) was successful.
I even had some technology firsts this year. Because Jay is in Dubai for eight months, I learned to use—and love, when it works—Skype. And I discovered a surprising passion for Apple’s iPod Touch (bonus: I got it for free when I bought my MacBook Pro in August because I’m a college instructor).
There were other firsts—finally meeting people I’ve considered friends for a long time, my first card addressed to “Mom”, my first Thanksgiving where someone else did most of the cooking, my first—and hopefully only—Christmas alone with a baby. But what I will remember most about 2009 is the first time I held this little guy:
Onward to 2010…