Saturday, January 2nd, 2010 • 1 Comment on New Year, New Goals
I’d love to say that I have many ambitious resolutions for 2010. Would love to say it, but I can’t. Right now, my most ambitious goal is to get a few hours sleep in any given day and keep the baby happy, fed and clean while keeping myself sane (and also clean). I guess that is pretty ambitious, huh?
I mentioned a few days ago that I wanted to lose the baby weight, which would have made a good (if cliched) goal for 2010. Turns out, I lost the weight without even noticing. In fact, not only did I lose all of the weight I gained during pregnancy (36 pounds), I’ve lost an additional 6 pounds. My secret is simple: I’m too busy and tired to eat, despite a freezer and pantry full of food. I feed Patrick and then I try to get some things done around the house while he sleeps and figure I’ll eat again before he gets up, but he always wakes sooner than I expect and there goes that meal for the day. (Also, the low-carb diet I was on because of the gestational diabetes made me lose a few pounds during pregnancy, so I already had a good start on losing the baby weight.) Good thing for multivitamins and iron supplements, I suppose. But I do need to make more of an effort to eat so I can keep up (get back) my energy.
thought I’d say I need to make an effort to eat.
Patrick is four weeks old today. In some ways, it seems like he’s always been a part of my life. His little gurgles and coos are so familiar already. And his face—so much like Jay’s—is as comforting as an old friend. In other ways, it feels like he can’t possibly be almost a month old, even though he’s nearly out of most of his newborn clothes already. He is this odd, cute, demanding little stranger I’m still getting to know. 2010 will be a year of discovery for both of us and I look forward to that. There are no resolutions are goals in mind for that—I just want to enjoy the moments as they come. I hope there will be many. (And I hope many of them will be followed by a good night’s sleep.)
As I adjust to motherhood and Patrick begins to sleep longer stretches at night (please, god), I know I will rediscover my lost ambition (buried in the laundry basket, no doubt) and be able to think beyond diapers, bottles and the lack of sleep. I would like to edit another anthology (or two) for Cleis Press this year. I want to explore new markets for my writing, as well. I’d like to write more nonfiction, finish a book, revisit my screenplay ideas, explore new genres. I can’t imagine doing any of that at the moment, but it’s nice to see the words on the screen and feel that little tickle of excitement I get when I think about new writing projects.
I’d like to travel some this year—with and without baby. I missed RWA’s national conference last summer because of the pregnancy, but I’m intending to be there this year, with Jay and Patrick in tow (the conference is in Nashville which is where my in-laws live. Two birds, one stone). I’d like to take Patrick to Chicago to see his Aunt Sheri, as well. I don’t think there will be any international trips, though everyone says it’s easier to travel with a baby than a toddler. We’ll see. Perhaps I’ll go off somewhere without baby and leave him in Jay’s capable hands for a few days. Hard to imagine right now when he’s never more than a few feet from me…
After two semesters away, I need to decide whether I want to get back into teaching in the fall. I enjoy teaching, but it is time consuming and often frustrating. I imagine that time will be at a premium this year and I’ll want to make the most of it. I’m not sure if teaching will fit into that scheme.
On the other hand, I do have daydreams about returning to school. I’m not sure 2010 will be the year for that, but I imagine in the next couple of years I’ll be deciding whether to pursue a PhD. Another one of those time consuming activities, to be sure.
2010 will mark my twentieth wedding anniversary. Crazy! I would like to mark the occasion in some way, whether a party or a trip. Of course, both will include our ten month old baby…
That’s a good start, I think. Who knows what the year will bring, what curve balls will be thrown my way, what miracles will happen to change the future. Goals and resolutions are lovely to have, but sometimes—and maybe this year more than most—it’s enough to just be… and embrace the unknown.