Monday, September 13th, 2010 • 6 Comments on Raising Baby
Whenever I see the ads for the shiny, noisy, plastic baby crap that my baby supposedly needs, I feel a momentary pang of guilt for denying my child the joys of those obnoxious, over-priced, easily breakable, freaking loud toys. I hate all that baby crap. I hate things that make noise. I hate practical, necessary items (highchairs, pack and plays) that are covered in cutesy rainbow patterns that make my house look like a children’s playroom. I hate the stupid mechanical music boxes in stupid garish-colored “educational” toys that play horrible kiddie music. I hate Barney and Elmo.
So, I feel guilty that my poor little baby has so few of those must-haves (according to Toys R Us, Fisher-Price, PlaySkool, etc.). Am I stunting his development by refusing to buy the toy keyboard with 14 different animal noises and nursery rhymes, played at a volume louder than the television? Will he be delayed educationally because I haven’t bought the entire Baby Einstein DVD collection? Is he going to hate me when he discovers all his little baby friends have the giant mechanical dinosaur that walks and roars and all he has is a stuffed monkey?
Then I take a deep breath and think about Thomas Jefferson. Little Tommy didn’t have any of that stuff and he did okay in the brains department. And I wonder what Albert Einstein would make of the Baby Einstein line of products? I think he’d laugh. It does seem kind of silly when I think about the fact that this world has turned out a lot of amazing, brilliant people who never even heard of LeapFrog. Then I go back to playing with my adorable baby, who coos and laughs as he runs a piece of ribbon through his fingers or trashes the Restoration Hardware catalog.