Verbal communication is not my strong suit.  I’m sure that’s because, well, I’m a writer.  Duh.  I could write a ten thousand word essay on the extremely deep subject of my complicated emotions, but if forced to verbalize my feelings, I am likely to mumble, “I’m just upset.” Or, better yet, I’ll ignore the question and pretend nothing is wrong.  That works, right? 

I am not anti-social, I am not lacking in self-esteem.  I can sustain a phone conversation until I’m hoarse, so it’s not like I don’t like to talk, but confrontation of any kind has always been difficult for me.  I’m sure that stems from some deep rooted childhood issues and a fear of abandonment.  Go along to get along.  To which the obvious response is: get over it.  The thing is, it’s not a game I’m playing; it’s not some passive-aggressive attempt to get what I want.  It goes against my nature to tell someone they’ve made me angry or hurt my feelings. 

It’s taken me most of my life to figure out that confrontation isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  I’ve lost friends because I didn’t want a confrontation but couldn’t deal with the situation any more.  Of course, I’ve lost friends as the result of confrontations, as well.  Still, I’m learning that silence is never the answer if it’s something or someone I care about.  I think, I hope, I have gotten better about expressing myself.  I’m working on it. 

I also realize my opinions can be taken as confrontational whether I intend them that way or not.  I know some of my beliefs are unusual, and I know that can be threatening.  I also know that if I say or write something, I have to be willing to defend it.  That is not always easy, especially on days when I feel like I’m the freak in the crowd.  It’s not hard being me, but sometimes it’s hard to explain who I am.  I’m still figuring that out for myself.

I’d rather make love than war, but if a brawl is inevitable, I’ll put on the gloves and try to fight fair.  Just remember I have a glass jaw, okay?

Posted by Kristina in Life at 11:21 PM Permalink

Happy 1st Anniversary Nick and Sharon!

Posted by Kristina in Musings at 09:34 PM Permalink

For those who love IKEA, or anyone who is wondering what the fuss is all about, this guy does a pretty good job of explaining it (especially the checkout process, during which I said “Do I really need this?” no fewer than six times).

My first trip to IKEA took over three hours, so consider yourself warned if you decide to venture forth into the world of Swedish housewares.  They do have The World’s Best Cheese Grater^(TM), though.  I think there may even be a fan club.

Love that IKEA.

Posted by Kristina in Musings at 07:02 PM Permalink

Maybe it’s me, but Lionel Richie is hot for a 54 year old guy (yeah, I know, I’ve got a thing for older men.  First Baryshnikov, now Richie.).  I heard “Just For You,” the title song off his album coming out in May, and it’s really, really good.  Really. 

I can almost forgive him for “Dancing on the Ceiling.”

Almost.

Posted by Kristina in Musings at 11:19 PM Permalink

Look, I’m from Florida.  That means a few things when it comes to driving:

1) I do not use my turn signal to switch lanes.  Do I look like a fool?
2) I can accelerate from 0 to 60 before I leave the on ramp.
3) Seatbelts are a grudging necessity.
4) I can’t parallel park.  No, not even my Miata.
5) Cars without tinted windows will always look a little naked to me.
6) Traffic in anything less than a major city doesn’t really bother me.
and
7) White, slushy stuff on the ground is evil and not to be trusted. 

I don’t drive when it’s snowing, sleeting, freezing raining or when any of those things have occured in the past 72 hours.  Deal with it.  Now, if you want to talk hurricane preparedness, I’m your girl.

Posted by Kristina in Musings at 10:44 PM Permalink