Recent Google searches that have led people to my web page:
“Kelly’s home nudity page”
“accidental nudity”
“erotic adult nightclubs”
“lovemaking transcript 2004”
“wrong g-string stories”
“Janet’s enhanced breast”
“see Janet’s naked breast”
“janet’s pierced breast”
“janet’s nipple exposure”
and my personal favorite:
“G-string housecleaning”
I had no idea I was writing such smut. I apologize. Janet apologizes. And Kelly, whomever she is, probably apologizes. Can we please move on now and talk about bare naked chicken breasts? I’m hungry.
Also, if you clean house while wearing a g-string, please be careful. I think that’s just an accident waiting to happen.
I know I promised happy stories of Disney goodness and they will be forthcoming, but I’m not feeling it right now. Bear with me.
What I am feeling is… not all here. I woke up this morning incredibly disappointed to find myself at home in my own bed and wanting to be some place-- any place-- else but here. Which is odd since a) I love my bed and b) I love my house and c) I love the little furry faces who woke me up to tell me they missed me and love me and, oh yeah, their food bowls were empty. All I know is that if someone had handed me a plane ticket this morning I wouldn’t have bothered to check the destination before jumping in my car and heading for the airport.
Since I can’t physically remove myself from my current location, I guess I’m taking a little mental vacation because I couldn’t care less about anything that’s going on around me at the moment. Work? Please. Friends? Don’t call me, I’ll call you. Writing? Um… does e-mail count? E-mail? I’ll get to it when I get to it. Food shopping? I have bread and peanut butter, I’ll survive for another week.
I’m sure this is just a little bout of post-vacation blues because I have absolutely nothing on the horizon to look forward to and I’m feeling unbearably lonely and sorry for myself. So I can either a) plan another vacation or b) suck it up and get over it or c) throw a little pity party for one. I’m currently leaning toward C.
Oh, and did I mention my weekend is going to suck? It’s a cruel, cruel thing to have Valentine’s Day fall on a Saturday when a) I’m going to be alone and b) I have to work all day and c) I’m feeling like a reject from the Island of Misfit Toys. Valentine’s Day? Gag. Saint Valentine got what he deserved. Love stinks.
I’m sorry for my lack of good cheer. You can either a) ignore this post and wait for the good stuff or b) take everything I’m writing with a grain of salt because I’m in a lousy mood or c) bite me.
Hugs and kisses.
I’m baaaaaack… Miss me?
Observations, anecdotes and the Top Ten Best Pickup Lines for Disney-goers coming soon.
Keep watching this space.
I’m off to the Happiest Place on Earth for a few days. I’ll be back with my usual sarcasm and wit on Tuesday, wearing Mickey ears and singing “It’s a Small World After All.” Try not to miss me too much.
Now talk amongst yourselves and be good while I’m gone.
If I just stay awake for another hour and a half, I could join the mommy brigade on their morning walk. But I’m really, really tired and it’s 33 degrees outside.
I think the mommies will have to walk without me today. Darn. I was so looking forward to that.
Life. Love. Writing. Friendship.
Sex. Books. Movies. Travel. Politics. Feminism. Academia. Insomnia. Rants. Raves. Chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Some names have been changed, some stories have been embellished. Thanks for stopping by and beware of the dog. Read more...
