I was once a twenty-one year old boss. I had employees. I made schedules. I had a budget. I spent the company’s money. I dealt with angry, cursing morons-- all with a smile. I hired people. I fired people. I was young, I was naive and I was in charge. I took care of the people who worked for me because that’s what I thought a good boss should do. I figured I had nothing to lose by doing things my way and there was rarely anyone looking over my shoulder to tell me otherwise. My work ethic was less “if you have time to lean, you have time to clean” and more “get the work done, then goof off.”
My work ethic hasn’t changed much in fifteen years. I am not lazy so much as I am rebellious. I don’t like rules. I don’t deal well with authority, especially if the authority in question is an idiot. I don’t like policy and procedure manuals, I prefer to handle things on a case by case basis. I don’t like black and white, I prefer shades of gray and blue and purple. I don’t like being told what to do, nor do I like giving orders. I prefer a looser style of management. Smart employees know what to do and will get the job done. Dumb employees should be taken out back and smacked around. Simple.
I believe vacation days are for vacation and sick days are for whatever you want them to be. I think the best thing you can give an employee-- besides a hefty raise-- is respect and the acknowledgment of work well done, even if it’s the work they’re supposed to do. I believe in positive reinforcement and chocolate rewards; when a raise isn’t in the budget, I believe in commiseration and drinks on the house. I believe in fraternizing and getting to know the people who work for you. I believe everyone is entitled to have a bad day and everyone deserves a second, and even a third, chance. I believe most people want to do a good job most of the time. That should be enough for any boss.
I believe in looking out for your employees and giving them credit where credit is due-- and even when it isn’t. It’s no real hardship to let someone stand in the spotlight for a few minutes and it makes a world of difference in how they feel about themselves… and their job. I believe in staff meetings that include doughnuts and coffee. I believe in pizza parties on me because we’ve had a good, productive week. I believe in looking the other way when lunch stretches to an hour and a half once in awhile. I believe as long as ONE person is on time, everyone else can be a few minutes late occasionally. I don’t believe in evaluations, I believe in heart-to-hearts when the need arises. I believe work can-- and should-- be fun.
All of this just goes to show why I will never be a boss again. Not that I want to be-- the hours suck and, oddly enough, no one seems to think I should be in charge. Imagine that.
Things would be better if I ruled the world. Trust me.
The following is an exact (okay, almost exact) transcript of a conversation I had today with a five year old girl.
Me: (Reading a book, oblivious)
Little Girl: Uh oh, we got Christians.
Me: What did you say?
LG: You know. Christians. (Followed by the most adorable nose-wrinkling you’ve ever seen)
Me: I know what Christians are, but what do you mean?
LG: (Gesturing toward the back of the library at three little girls, ranging in age from four to ten) Back there. Christians. They don’t want to read about mummies. They don’t believe in ‘em.
Me: Well, they don’t have to read about mummies if they don’t want to.
LG: (Holding up a stack of nonfiction books about mummies that she somehow managed to find on her own) But they’re real! They should know about mummies.
Me: Maybe they like reading about other things.
LG: (Shaking her head and staggering away under the weight of her mummy books) Gotta watch out for those Christians. They don’t believe in anything.
I couldn’t write something this funny if I tried.
I was just informed there is now a Lush in Washington, D.C.! I feel a road trip coming on! It won’t be as good as going to London for the original Lush in all its sweet smelling goodness, but at least this one is within driving distance. Of course, I should probably plow my way through the sixty-seven bath bombs, thirty-two bubble bars and nineteen soaps-cut-off-the-block (I’m exaggerating, but not by much) I still have from my last mail order purchase before I make a pilgrimage, right?
Nahhh… like chocolate, you can never have too much Lush.
The Highly Selective Book Club With Only Two Members (TM) has chosen the book for January and I’m very excited to say it was one of my books! I’m so looking forward to this one. And, bonus, it’s not five hundred pages.
Our discussion of Middlesex was intriguing not only because of how well written and thought provoking the book is, but also for how gender and personal experience effect our perception of identity, family and self-discovery.
A fun, fun book talk. I loved it. I’m a geek. I’m also cute. So there.
2003 wasn’t my favorite year. I can’t even say it was in the top five. It’s hard to remember the good stuff when the bad stuff is so glaring, but there was good stuff. A lot of good stuff.
Highlights of the good, the bad and the sometimes ugly:
January:
Snow days, a pajama party for the lovely Dr. Shmoo, hockey games with Robbie, Nick and Sharon’s wedding shower, followed by their Vegas wedding which I couldn’t attend, but I watched thanks to the wonders of the internet.
February:
A baby shower for Gigi, more hockey with Robbie, and lots and lots of planning for the London trip with Sheri!
March:
An Art Therapy fundraiser at Cora, more hockey, LONDON, which included two trips to the theater to see The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) and Les Miserables, and more theater when I got home to see The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife.
April:
Jay’s birthday, Second City, a wedding, a memorable trip to the Farmer’s Market (but not to the central library), Easter dinner with Robbie, Ashleigh and Denis.
May:
BIRTHDAY WEEK and many, many festivities for said occasion including a legendary cookout, a theater trip to see the amazing one-man show Foley, a movie marathon that went a little too long, the Trinity Irish Dancers and the Pungo Strawberry Festival.
June:
The Neville Brothers at the Bayou Boogaloo and another fun-filled, vomit-inducing cookout which turned out to be my last drunken hurrah of the year.
July:
Orville died, I rescued a dog, I gave her away, Jae abandoned us for Virginia Beach, Jay deployed, the a/c broke during the hottest part of the year, baseball games, my first (and hopefully only) attempt at being a class speaker (thanks, Rose), Nick’s birthday week and the unbelievably short Chris Isaak.
August:
Tea for Rose’s birthday, the a/c broke again, more baseball and Jae’s birthday party.
September:
Nick moved, Hurricane Isabel visited, I locked myself out of the house, the power was out for days, I finally took the GRE and Jay came home!
October:
A trip to Tom and Amy’s, fun in Baltimore, thirteen years of wedded bliss, IKEA!!, Lord of the Dance and and the Stockley Gardens Art Festival.
November:
The ill-fated NaNoWriMo, the beginning of The Highly Selective Book Club With Only Two Members(TM), I applied to grad school (application incomplete, still), the symphony, Elton John, Rent, Sheri, Thanksgiving joy and happiness with special guest Brian, a book club meeting, a pizza party and brunch in Richmond.
December:
A surprise party for Robbie, a crowd for hockey, a work Christmas party to plan, a Hail and Farewell, a lovely Christmas eve dinner and a fun Christmas morning, another book to read for the book club and another deployment, but the last for awhile.
And scattered throughout the year, the events that made life worth living:
Many trips to Wild Wing, Panera and Starbucks, lots of movies and lunches and laughter and love and some fights and a few tears and good friends and drinking and shopping and Bubba Chryst touring plans and road trip talk and plots to overthrow the library administration and some job hunting and grad school planning and some writing sales and much (sporadic) writing and some reading, too.
Life. Love. Writing. Friendship.
Sex. Books. Movies. Travel. Politics. Feminism. Academia. Insomnia. Rants. Raves. Chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Some names have been changed, some stories have been embellished. Thanks for stopping by and beware of the dog. Read more...
