--My little blue and silver Christmas tree that is next to my bed and makes me smile with it’s shiny, happy twinkly lights went phzzzzbt. Or something like that. The lights blew. I don’t know why. Now it just sits there, still shiny in blue and silver, but not happy or twinkly.
--The festive red Amaryllis bulb that I bought before Thanksgiving in hopes that it would bloom in time for Christmas has… not bloomed. In fact, I think it may be rotting. Ewww…
--The big Christmas tree remains bare with the exception of my word ornament. I’m starting to think I like a “natural” tree (as natural as you can get when it’s artificial and pre-lit with white lights,of course).
--I have received a meager four holiday cards. Granted, I’ve only sent… well, one… but still.
--All of my out-of-state packages have been mailed, which means no last minute standing in line, anticipating the last minute arrival of my gifts. I think that’s supposed to be a good thing, but I feel like I’m missing out on something.
--I’m tired of turkey and I don’t want to make a ham or a roast for Christmas Eve dinner. Pizza, anyone?
--I could care less about going to the mall in the next nine days. (Again, a good thing, and yet...)
--It has been terribly warm here. Granted, it’s starting to cool off again, but it’s hard to trust that it will last when two short days ago it was nearly 80.
--All I want to do is finish grading essays so I can curl up on the couch and watch movies. (Unfortunately, I have a lot of work to do over the break.)
Of course, Charlie Brown’s Christmas didn’t turn out so bad, right??
I’m not much in a blogging mood this evening, but I am committed to my Holidailies. So, to compromise between my apathy and my dedication (procrastination?), here are a few tidbits of my week:
--I have fifty or so documented essays to grade so I can wrap up my two College Composition classes. I have gotten some lovely-- and anonymous-- feedback about my classes. The anonymous part is especially nice because it negates the possibility of sucking up.
--I am not finished with my holiday shopping, but I have found some terrific gifts for a few hard-to-buy-for people. I love it when that happens.
--The doggie is starting to feel better (or so I assume, since he’s letting me sleep longer). There are a bunch of follow-up appointments for him and the diabetic kitty coming up, which won’t be fun, but right now things aren’t too, too difficult to deal with.
--Speaking of appointments: next Monday will now be known as Mammogram MondayTM. What fun, what joy. I hope I get a candy cane or something for my suffering.
--Speaking of other appointments: I had blood drawn today and my arm is throbbing. Not sure why, the tech did a terrific job getting the needle into my hard-to-find vein.
--It’s been ridiculously warm here in southeastern Virginia. It was near 80 yesterday. Crazy weather. It makes it hard to be in a festive mood.
--Speaking of festive moods: my holiday mood so far has been quiet and reflective rather than Martha Stewart Living. I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
--I’m looking for some good movies to go see. Any recommendations?
--I don’t want to be singing Blue Christmas, so I’d better snap out of this mood… soon.
I bought these holiday cards at Texture, my favorite little funky gift shop, a couple of weeks ago. (Never mind that I didn’t send out cards last year and still have boxes and boxes of the things sitting around-- I like cards!) I loved the design on the front-- the girl in her long blue dress and black boots, dancing through the snow. Underneath the picture are the words season of joy, which fits the image. It is a joyous little card.
I only just opened the box of cards tonight, intending to send out a few-- sometime this week. It was then that I read the back of the card and a shiver went up my spine:
Brush Dance
The Brush Dance is a Yurok Indian healing ritual where being true to yourself means giving your best to help a person in need. Being true to yourself is the one and only Yurok Indian law.
I had a couple of people in mind to send this card to-- a couple of people I think are in need of both healing and a “season of joy"-- which makes this joyous little card all the more special. Since I have been reading Joseph Campbell lately, I have been reflecting on being true to myself and staying “centered"-- remembering what’s important and not getting lost. That message of healing and joy applies to me, too. I not only want to be joyous, I need it.
Lately, I have found myself extending kindness to people I hardly know. It’s not as if I’m a horrible or rude person, but lately I seem to be drawn to people who are in need… perhaps because I recognize the need within myself. I tend to offer to others what it is I need most for myself. Among the words in my word ornament is the word nurture-- something that has always been important to me, but I am rediscovering what that means and how good it makes me feel to help someone else-- and to not forget to nurture myself in the process.
I read the Brush Dance description on this little card and I smiled because it was just too perfect for where I am right now. But it was the artist’s name that sent the shiver up my spine:
I believe in magic and I think the universe is trying to tell me something. I’m listening, I’m listening....
Last year for Jay’s grandmother’s 88th birthday I made her an ornament of words. The family had planned a big party for her and everyone was supposed to give her a hand-crafted ornament that represented us. In this case, the word ornament represented not only me, but also Julia. (I do not call her Granny or even Granny Julia, she is just Julia to me-- and I think she likes that just fine).
Julia is one of the best writers I have ever read, though she would argue otherwise. She does not consider herself a writer at all. We write each other “real” letters every week or so and her words flow off the page like poetry. I wanted to make an ornament for her that represented our mutual passion for words, that represented her love of the written word that allows her to write with such eloquence. She inspires me with her gift and makes me want to be a better writer. I chose words that reminded me of her, words that reflected who she is and what she means-- not just to me, but to everyone who knows her. Words like garden and nature and travel and books and wise and history. And writer, because she is.
Julia turned 89 a couple of weeks ago and she wrote in her last letter that her Christmas tree was up, with all of the hand-crafted ornaments from last year. I remembered that after I finished her word ornament I had intended to make one for myself. I really loved how it turned out, the way it could be turned this way and that and a few new words would flutter to the surface. A snow globe of words, creating phrases beneath the glass-- fondest wishes and greatest desires, memories of the past and hopes for the future. I wanted one for myself.
It has taken me a year, but I finally made my own word ornament:
I used many of the same words for myself that I used for Julia, because in many ways we are similar despite our 49 year age difference. I also added some reminders for the coming year…
What words would be in your snow globe?
Life. Love. Writing. Friendship.
Sex. Books. Movies. Travel. Politics. Feminism. Academia. Insomnia. Rants. Raves. Chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Some names have been changed, some stories have been embellished. Thanks for stopping by and beware of the dog. Read more...
