I stole this from Jae.  I think his answers are more entertaining, though.

1 MY UNCLE ONCE TOLD ME: you can’t get the smell of dead guy out of a car.

2 NEVER IN MY LIFE: have I been bored.

3 WHEN I WAS FIVE: I knew I wanted to be a writer.

4 HIGH SCHOOL WAS: an exercise in leading a double life.

5 I WILL NEVER FORGET: the people who have been there for me.

6 I ONCE MET: the lead singer for A-Ha.  His name was Morton and it was his birthday.

7 THERE IS A GIRL THAT: looks like me in every city and every state I’ve ever visited.  At least, that’s what people tell me.

8 ONCE, AT A BAR: I drank water and thought it was tequila.

9 BY NOON, I’M USUALLY:getting my day started.

10 LAST NIGHT: I was in my pajamas by 6 p.m.

11 IF I ONLY HAD: more self-discipline.

12 NEXT TIME I GO TO CHURCH: I hope it’s Westminster Abbey.

13 TERRY SHIAVO: was a victim of her own eating disorder and a pawn of the people who should have protected her.

14 WHAT WORRIES ME MOST IS: that I’ll never live up to my own expectations.

15 WHEN I TURN MY HEAD LEFT, I SEE: stars because I jacked up my neck.

16 WHEN I TURN MY HEAD RIGHT, I SEE: my sixteen year old cat Wilbur sleeping on his favorite blanket.

17 YOU KNOW I’M FIBBING WHEN: I ask you to repeat the question.

18 WHAT I MISS ABOUT THE 80s IS: my youth and Bon Jovi before they sold out to Target.

19 IF I WERE A CHARACTER IN SHAKESPEARE, I WOULD BE: Katherine in Taming of the Shrew, of course.

20 BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR: I will have gone to London and Chicago, be in my last semester of graduate school and planning my 40th birthday.

21 A BETTER NAME FOR ME WOULD BE: mistress.

22 I HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING: narrow-mindedness.

23 IF I EVER GO BACK TO SCHOOL: I’ll be getting my PhD.

24 YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU IF: I invite you to a cookout.

25 IF I EVER WIN AN AWARD, THE FIRST PERSON I’D THANK WOULD BE: Jay.  If not for his support, I probably wouldn’t be getting the award.

26 DARWIN, MOZART, SLIM PICKENS AND GERALDINE: Marie Curie, Janis Joplin, Patsy Cline and Hillary.

27 TAKE MY ADVICE, NEVER: underestimate yourself.

28 MY IDEAL BREAKFAST: is served after 11 a.m.

29 A SONG I LOVE, BUT DO NOT OWN: Snoop Dogg’s version of “Riders on the Storm.” I can’t find it!

30 IF YOU VISIT MY HOMETOWN, I SUGGEST: you bring sunscreen and practice defensive driving.

31 TUPLIPS, CHARACTER FLAWS, MICROCHIPS AND TRACK STARS: Sunflowers, interesting scars, old school pen and paper and cute baseball players.

32 WHY WON’T PEOPLE: realize I’m always right?

33 IF YOU SPEND THE NIGHT AT MY HOUSE: you must like animals.

34 I’D STOP MY WEDDING FOR: a lack of transportation.  It almost happened, actually.

35 THE WORLD COULD DO WITHOUT: war and South Park.

36 I’D RATHER LICK THE BELLY OF A COCKROACH THAN: vote Republican.

37 MY FAVORITE BLOND IS: currently Luke Wilson.

38 PAPERCLIPS ARE MORE USEFUL THAN: wishful thinking.

39 IF I DO ANYTHING WELL, IT’S: be true to myself.

40 AND BY THE WAY: if you’ve read this far, it’s your turn to fill in the blanks.