Every few months, I get the urge to just take off and go.  Run away from home, leave everything behind and live in a fantasy world of my own making where someone else cleans my room and every meal is either from a restaurant or delivered by room service.  Where every person I meet is a stranger, everything I see is fresh and new and no one expects anything at all from me except that I pay my tab when I move on.  Ahhh... that’s freedom.  Or maybe it’s just the best vacation ever. 

Of course, my compulsion to run away often corresponds to stress and angst in my very real life.  Sometimes, all I need is a couple days away to feel like everything is right with my world.  And sometimes, I just want the vacation to last forever.  There are most definitely two sides of me-- the side who likes the feeling of “home” and being settled and the side who once aspired to be a photo-journalist traveling the globe.  I no longer have the desire to go to all the world’s hot spots, but I still get the urge to take off.  Jae attributes it to my independent nature and dysfunctional childhood.  He may be right on both counts.

It is an interesting dichotomy, the desire for permanence and a sense of belonging, and the irresistible urge to run away and reinvent myself.  History, memories, roots… or a clean slate with infinite possibilities.  They both have their appeal.

Posted by Kristina in Life at 12:54 AM Permalink