I’ve been thinking about needs and wants.  I’m not talking about basic needs-- food, shelter, safety-- but rather what one needs in order to maintain a sustainable level of happiness.  By my definition, one person’s need could be another person’s idea of luxury.  Wants, to my way of thinking, tend to fall into four categories-- material, which will presumably make one’s life easier, faster, prettier or in some other way more pleasant; ideal, like a college education or a spouse ; intangible, such as a better sense of humor or an appreciation for art; and unattainable, like wanting to be younger or have a different body.

Obviously, a want could also be a need, depending on the person.  I may want my M.A., but someone else may need it as a prequisite for their chosen career (which could be classified as a want or a need, depending on any number of factors). 

Follow me so far?  Good, because I think I’m lost.

So, needs.  I was thinking about what I need to be happy.  Here, in no particular order, is what I came up with:

Periods of solitude

Good, deep conversation, whether about relationships, life, politics or books

Frequent touch (sexual and nonsexual)

An average of 7 hours of rest/sleep a night (I’m an insomniac, so 7 hours in bed may only be 5 hours of actual sleep)

To write

To create in ways other than writing (cooking, gardening, photography, etc.)

Chocolate (I’m dead serious)

To nurture others in tangible ways that make a difference to their lives

Pets

Acts of innocuous rebellion (taking a sick day when I’m not sick, for instance)

Two or three close, trusted friendships

A home that is a quiet, comfortable haven

I imagine there are others, but those are the things that came to mind first.  There were some things, like bubble baths and a computer, that I took off the list because they’re wants rather than needs (though I’m not entirely sure a computer isn’t a need, even if a lesser need).  I was going to put something about needing love-- to be loved, to be in love, etc.-- but I think we all need that, don’t we?  I was trying to come up with a list that was specific to me and my happiness. 

So, what is it you need to be happy?

Posted by Kristina in Musings at 06:24 PM Permalink