Several people close to me are in the midst of or are preparing for life-changes.  I’m essentially doing the same thing I was doing when I moved to Virginia nearly four years ago, and I suppose that means it may be my turn for some sort of life-change soon.  It’s interesting how my career and educational goals have kind of fallen by the wayside, but it doesn’t really bother me.  I know I will get where I want to go… in time.

The past few years of my life have been focused on building-- and rebuilding-- relationships.  I didn’t really intend it, it just sort of happened.  All the relationships I have are stronger than they were four years ago-- and the relationships I’ve developed in the past few years feel solid and long term.  I am back in touch with old friends and I have new friends who are like family.  I’ve been married for almost fourteen years and Jay is still putting up with my moody, free spirited ways.  Believe me, I wouldn’t want to live with me.  It must be love.

I spent a good portion of my life keeping people at a distance.  It’s safe, but it’s lonely.  I’m not doing that anymore-- at least not consciously.  Not having the real family bonds most people have and not having children of my own has given me a rare opportunity to give more of myself to other people than I might otherwise have to give.  And it feels good, this giving.  It feels right.

When I die, I want to have a string of letters after my name and a stack of books with my face on the back cover.  I also want to be missed.

Posted by Kristina in Life at 12:54 AM Permalink