I’ve only been blogging for ten months, but in that time I have learned a few things:

1.  If you mention the word sex in the description of your blog, you will have 1. 8 million daily readers.  You don’t even have to write about sex, you just need to use it as a tease to get people to read your blog.  Then you can talk about other things, like the best kind of car wax and whether Pilates is better than yoga.

2.  If you use the words ‘slut,’ ‘whore,’ or ‘mistress’ in your blog title, you will have so much traffic to your site you will require additional bandwidth in your second month of blogging.  You don’t even have to be a slut, whore or mistress, though if you are you will be guaranteed repeat visitors.

3.  If you are a man with a blog and you complain about your a) lousy marriage, b) lousy sex life and c) your lousy job, you will receive an average of 5 propositions and 1 marriage proposal per week.  This is regardless of what you look like or whether you have 7.5 children with three different women and a warrant out for your arrest.

4.  If you are blogging under a secret identity, other people will claim to know who you are.  If your secret identity blog becomes popular, other people will claim to be you.

5.  If you blog about sex, are a slut, whore or mistress, claim to have slept with someone famous or make a living as a hooker, you will be offered a book contract.  Writing ability not necessary.

Posted by Kristina in Musings at 05:03 PM Permalink