I decorated three Christmas trees in three days this week. One of them-- mine-- fell over. I do not think it was a result of my decorating. It is a big, broad, fat tree. A plus-sized tree. A tree that should shop at the Men’s Big and Tall Shop (or Lane Bryant, if it’s a girl, which I don’t think it is). A tree so mighty, my twenty-pound cast iron stand could not keep it standing. It fell with a crash and a jingle of bells at 2:30 in the morning the day after I put it up. Why do things like that never happen during the day? I was awake, I was annoyed. The tree is standing again, but I think it is beginning to list to one side and I’m not hopeful of it remaining upright. It is a big, broad, fat, drunken tree. About thirty ornaments fell off, which I will rehang just as soon as a) I have time and b) I’m convinced the tree isn’t going to toss back a bottle of tequila and take another header. Big, broad, fat, drunken, bad tree and it is mine, so I love it anyway.
The other two trees, library trees, are still standing because there is no tequila in the library.
at 03:45 PM 
So no tequila in the library, what’s up with that? Libraries are to be fun places!
Comment by Jay on Sunday, December 07, 2003 Yeah, right. No tequila. But you neglected to mention the rum, schnapps and vodka in silver flasks next to the printer for quick nips. No wonder the library makes so much money on print-outs lately!
Comment by on Wednesday, December 17, 2003 
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