I feel like something is gnawing at my stomach with dull incisors. This is not, to say the least, a pleasant feeling. In fact, it’s put me in an even worse mood than I’ve been in. Not a good day.
There is a job. This job pays two and a half times more per hour than what I make now. This job is part-time and not one of those soul-sapping full time gigs that are so detrimental to lazy writers (lazy being the operative word here) such as myself. This job is close by, this job probably wouldn’t involve working weekends and nights (though this job would involve working the dreaded mornings… boo… hiss...). This job is a “real” job, even if it’s only part-time. This job involves writing. It also involves a bunch of other crap and probably a fair amount of sucking up, too. This job is not my dream job, not even close, but it’s different and it’s new and it would be challenging. And did I mention the money? Big piles of cash to work part-time.
I’d be crazy not to apply for this job, right? I mean, I’m not tied to my current part-time job by anything other than a fondness for the people and a resistance to change that is an inherent flaw in my personality. The money sucks, I’m educationally over qualified and intellectually under stimulated. The challenge, what challenge there was, evaporated after about six months. So, this job is looking kind of enticing.
For the record, I will not get this job. I’m under qualified, though I have no doubt I could learn the job quickly. I could surely fake my way through it until then. Likely, there are others who have all the qualifications and not just most of the qualifications. Still, to not apply for this job would be silly. Did I mention the money?
On the other hand, I’m getting farther and farther away from my goal of going back to writing full-time (and hopefully writing more lucratively). I’m not looking for a career, as stated in the appeal of the part-time job, because I’m still hoping that the writing will eventually pay well enough to put food on the table and a roof over my head (though probably a lot smaller roof than war mongering currently provides). It’s good to dream, right?
In the meantime, what do I do about this job? What do I do about grad school? What do I do about my life? Advice welcome. Just don’t expect me to heed it.
in
Jeez Kris, for years I have felt ashamed of being over qualified and under stimulated in a job that was supposed to be temporary until my passion became lucrative and paid the bills. So as I approach turning forty with more gray hair than brown, I am still pursuing my passion while working that same crappy part-time job. Bills always have a way of getting paid.
I can’t give you advice - it’s not my thing but you know that you are very talented at what you do. I love reading your unique thoughts and perspective on your life. Always have. (favorite term from a book- “ doggy indecision “)
Please don’t give up on your passion. If I can stick with it, you can too.
Comment by Joanne on Thursday, January 15, 2004 Hey Joanne… send me your e-mail address, please. And thanks. 
Comment by Kristina on Thursday, January 15, 2004 I think that anyone would be stupid not to hire you especially if they met you!
Comment by Nick on Thursday, January 15, 2004 Apply for the job. You can always say no and you can always quit.
Comment by Denny on Thursday, January 15, 2004 
Life. Love. Writing. Friendship.
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