I’m so tired. And yet, I can’t seem to sleep. I’m in one of my insomnia cycles where I walk around in a daze, dreaming of sleep, but unable to actually fall (or stay) asleep and dream. Last night, I went to bed at 11 and was still awake at 4 this morning. In that five hour period of time, I got up several times, answered some e-mails, plotted an entire story in my head, petted the dog, cuddled the cat, told the husband to roll over (several times) because he was snoring (and because it’s just rude to sleep that soundly when I’m wide awake) and cursed my insomniac brain. I finally drifted off around 4ish, but Jay got up at 5:45, so I was in that half-conscious haze until he left for work. A couple more hours of sleep and I was up at 9:15. Sigh.
I really don’t mind being an insomniac. I’ve adjusted over the years. I function pretty well even though I rarely get more than three straight hours of sleep. Sometimes I manage to get seven or even eight hours of sleep on one night, but those hours are broken up by periods of wakefulness ranging from the half-dreamlike state to fully awake and functioning. And no, medication just isn’t an option for me. After all, I managed to plot a story while I was being a night owl last night, so there is some productivity in my insomnia. Besides, I think it would have to be prescription to really knock me out because Nyquil and other nighttime medicines do not put me out. I still wake up, I’m just groggier.
I really don’t mind being an insomniac, but… I’m just so tired right now.
at 08:00 PM What’s it all about?
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I hear you, Kristina. My current state is that I’m up by 3 every morning regardless of when I go to sleep. Today it was 2:45. I tried to fall back asleep, but it wasn’t happening. And yes, I rarely sleep more than a couple hours at a stretch. The weekend is coming, and at least I can usually sneak in a nap or two and recharge a little for the coming week.
My sympathies, Craig. Are you at peace with your insomniac status? Most of the time, I’m okay with it. But some weeks… I would love to be like some of the people I know who fall asleep within seconds-- seconds!!-- of their heads hitting the pillow. Sigh…
Yes, I’m at peace with being an insomniac. Like you say, there are some weeks when it gets to me but for the most part I take it in stride.
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