Filed under: Life

And So It Goes

Sunday, July 13th, 2008 • 2 Comments on And So It Goes

My wallet was stolen on Thursday.  I’ve repeated that phrase several dozen times in the past few days and I still can’t really wrap my mind around it.  My wallet was stolen out of my purse while I was in the cafe at Barnes & Noble.  I had wanted a change of scenery for my writing day.  Big mistake. 

I know the time frame when it happened and two possible ways it happened.  That still doesn’t make it any easier to understand. Truth is, I didn’t really believe my wallet had been stolen until I got home and had a message from my bank asking me to call them about unusual activity on my account.  Then, all of the other possibilities became wishful thinking: That I dropped it somewhere in the bookstore and someone would return it. That I left it at the counter at the cafe and the barista I spoke to didn’t realize a coworker had put it in back.  That I put it in my messenger bag and—even though I dumped my bag out twice—I somehow missed it.  That, even if it had been stolen, the thieves were only after the cash and my wallet would be recovered.  No, none of those happened.  Someone reached into my purse, took my wallet and went shopping.  They did some serious shopping, too—ten thousand dollars worth—and had probably already dumped my credit cards (along with everything else) long before my banks and credit card companies put blocks on the cards.

I’m still working to resolve what I can.  Everything was in that wallet—multiple IDs, credit cards, debit cards, $80 (more than I usually carry, but I’m going on a trip soon and tucked it away for expenses), even my (I know, I know) social security card.  It will take some time to replace what can be replaced and change account numbers, update bill pay information, etc.  I’ll also be checking my credit reports regularly to make sure my identity isn’t stolen, as well.  I don’t have the luxury of telling myself, “That won’t happen.”  The cash is just a loss, as is the cost to replace my driver’s license—I naively believed that if you had a driver’s license stolen it would be replaced for free.  I had some things in my wallet that can’t be replaced—movie ticket stubs for recent movies I’ve seen (I’ve been collecting my ticket stubs since I was a teenager) along with a free movie ticket; a couple of pictures and notes; a couple of gift cards with a few dollars left on each; a calling card Jay and I have been using for at least ten years that has time left on it; probably a few things I won’t remember until I go looking for them. 

The thing is, I really don’t care about the credit cards or even the ID.  It’s a hassle, but those things can be replaced.  Yeah, I have good credit and obviously I have enough credit to make for a thief’s dream shopping spree.  They bought nicer stuff than I own—hell, the sum total of their loot is about twice what my car is worth.  I don’t care much about things or I wouldn’t have had any credit they could steal.  I blame myself—I was careless, I carry too much stuff in my wallet, I trust people.  Maybe that last one is the biggest problem.  The one thing I can’t replace and will miss the most after this experience is the belief that people are basically good.  Once upon a time, I would have gladly argued that point until I was hoarse.  Now, I’m not so sure what I believe.  Two things I’ve heard a lot in the past few days are, “Don’t take it personally.” and “It happens all the time.”  Is that really the world I live in?  Wow.  Where have I been?

I withdrew some cash from the bank on Friday (using my passport for ID) and bought a few things.  The first thing I bought was my new driver’s license—I look sad in the picture, I think.  I went to Target and bought a new wallet—it’s exactly like the one that was stolen, just a different color.  I bought some peanuts for the squirrels, bananas for the raccoons, some comfort chocolate for myself.  The only things in my new wallet right now are my shiny new driver’s license with the sad-looking picture and fifteen dollars and some change.  My purse is lighter, for the moment.  My heart is another story.

Posted by Kristina in Life
 

Half-Way There

Monday, July 7th, 2008 • No Comments on Half-Way There

Jay deployed April 7, so today marks the half-way point of this deployment.  It’s been three long months, to be sure.  We’re on the downhill side now, with a rendezvous in Florida next weekend to look forward to.  We’ve done this deployment thing so many times before it’s just something we do, but this one—at least for me—has been harder than previous deployments. 

This time around, I haven’t really had the support I’ve had in the past.  I don’t have the “day job” I had during the last deployment to give me a connection to the civilian world and this ship doesn’t have the networking/support mentality of previous ships to give me a connection to the Navy world.  My friends—and I don’t have as wide a circle of friends as I’ve had on previous deployments, for a variety of reasons—the ones I’d expect to be supportive, don’t quite get it.  Correction: they don’t get it at all, even if they want to (which some do and some don’t).  I’m the nurturer and it befuddles some people when the nurturer needs nurturing (not that the nurturer ever asks for help, that would go against the very nature of being a nurturer, right?).  My fabulous and inspiring writer friends are at a distance and e-mail is no substitute for that face-to-face connection that I sometimes crave. 

There are literally days when the only people I see are the ones who serve me coffee and the fact that they know what I drink and often have it ready before I even get out of my car doesn’t really make them friends—or does it?  Most of the time, I do okay.  I have my schedules and my routine and I thrive on having the flexibility to do what I want.  So if the phone doesn’t ring on the 4th of July (when every year previous my backyard has been cookout central), then I have no one to blame but myself for making the wrong choices.  It gets lonely sometimes, this writer/military wife life, and I don’t really expect anyone to understand what that means.  But, you know, sometimes it would be nice if they tried.

Three months down, three to go.  I’ll be just fine.

Posted by Kristina in Life
 

Half-Way There

Monday, July 7th, 2008 • No Comments on Half-Way There

Jay deployed April 7, so today marks the half-way point of this deployment.  It’s been three long months, to be sure.  We’re on the downhill side now, with a rendezvous in Florida next weekend to look forward to.  We’ve done this deployment thing so many times before it’s just something we do, but this one—at least for me—has been harder than previous deployments. 

This time around, I haven’t really had the support I’ve had in the past.  I don’t have the “day job” I had during the last deployment to give me a connection to the civilian world and this ship doesn’t have the networking/support mentality of previous ships to give me a connection to the Navy world.  My friends—and I don’t have as wide a circle of friends as I’ve had on previous deployments, for a variety of reasons—the ones I’d expect to be supportive, don’t quite get it.  Correction: they don’t get it at all, even if they want to (which some do and some don’t).  I’m the nurturer and it befuddles some people when the nurturer needs nurturing (not that the nurturer ever asks for help, that would go against the very nature of being a nurturer, right?).  My fabulous and inspiring writer friends are at a distance and e-mail is no substitute for that face-to-face connection that I sometimes crave. 

There are literally days when the only people I see are the ones who serve me coffee and the fact that they know what I drink and often have it ready before I even get out of my car doesn’t really make them friends—or does it?  Most of the time, I do okay.  I have my schedules and my routine and I thrive on having the flexibility to do what I want.  So if the phone doesn’t ring on the 4th of July (when every year previous my backyard has been cookout central), then I have no one to blame but myself for making the wrong choices.  It gets lonely sometimes, this writer/military wife life, and I don’t really expect anyone to understand what that means.  But, you know, sometimes it would be nice if they tried.

Three months down, three to go.  I’ll be just fine.

Posted by Kristina in Life
 

I'm a writer, editor, blogger, mama, wife and coffee lover.

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