Filed under: Life

I’ll Send You a Postcard

Friday, July 9th, 2004 • 7 Comments on I’ll Send You a Postcard

Every few months, I get the urge to just take off and go.  Run away from home, leave everything behind and live in a fantasy world of my own making where someone else cleans my room and every meal is either from a restaurant or delivered by room service.  Where every person I meet is a stranger, everything I see is fresh and new and no one expects anything at all from me except that I pay my tab when I move on.  Ahhh… that’s freedom.  Or maybe it’s just the best vacation ever. 

Of course, my compulsion to run away often corresponds to stress and angst in my very real life.  Sometimes, all I need is a couple days away to feel like everything is right with my world.  And sometimes, I just want the vacation to last forever.  There are most definitely two sides of me—the side who likes the feeling of “home” and being settled and the side who once aspired to be a photo-journalist traveling the globe.  I no longer have the desire to go to all the world’s hot spots, but I still get the urge to take off.  Jae attributes it to my independent nature and dysfunctional childhood.  He may be right on both counts.

It is an interesting dichotomy, the desire for permanence and a sense of belonging, and the irresistible urge to run away and reinvent myself.  History, memories, roots… or a clean slate with infinite possibilities.  They both have their appeal.

Posted by Kristina in Life
 

The Boy is Back in Town

Friday, July 2nd, 2004 • 1 Comment on The Boy is Back in Town

187 days later…

Welcome Home, Jay!

Posted by Kristina in Life
 

Success is More Than a Paycheck

Tuesday, June 15th, 2004 • No Comments on Success is More Than a Paycheck

Several people close to me are in the midst of or are preparing for life-changes.  I’m essentially doing the same thing I was doing when I moved to Virginia nearly four years ago, and I suppose that means it may be my turn for some sort of life-change soon.  It’s interesting how my career and educational goals have kind of fallen by the wayside, but it doesn’t really bother me.  I know I will get where I want to go… in time.

The past few years of my life have been focused on building—and rebuilding—relationships.  I didn’t really intend it, it just sort of happened.  All the relationships I have are stronger than they were four years ago—and the relationships I’ve developed in the past few years feel solid and long term.  I am back in touch with old friends and I have new friends who are like family.  I’ve been married for almost fourteen years and Jay is still putting up with my moody, free spirited ways.  Believe me, I wouldn’t want to live with me.  It must be love.

I spent a good portion of my life keeping people at a distance.  It’s safe, but it’s lonely.  I’m not doing that anymore—at least not consciously.  Not having the real family bonds most people have and not having children of my own has given me a rare opportunity to give more of myself to other people than I might otherwise have to give.  And it feels good, this giving.  It feels right.

When I die, I want to have a string of letters after my name and a stack of books with my face on the back cover.  I also want to be missed.

Posted by Kristina in Life
 

I'm a writer, editor, blogger, mama, wife and coffee lover.

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