Filed under: Life

Tie Me Down and Make Me Write

Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 • No Comments on Tie Me Down and Make Me Write

I want to quit my job.  No, I’m serious.  I’m returning to work after a four day weekend of socializing, gardening, being artistic and cleaning my wreck of a house, and except for that last thing, I would happily go on doing what I’ve been doing for the past four days until someone forced me to stop—and then I’d go kicking and screaming.  I mean it, I want to quit my job.

If I thought I had the discipline to go back to writing full-time, I would do it.  There was a time when I could make myself write 5 to 6 hours a day (6 or 7 days a week).  It was wonderful to have the freedom to be able to spend my days however I wanted, as long as I put in the hours on my writing.  Unfortunately, I took for granted just how good I had it and got lazy.  Self-discipline is not one of my strongest character traits, though I can be motivated by deadlines and money.  But when the deadlines disappear and there are more rejections than checks in the mail, self-discipline shrivels up and The View starts looking like quality television. 

It’s not even that I’m so dissatisfied with my current job.  It’s part-time, it’s a pleasant enough work environment and I have friends there.  It has been a good job, despite the sad little paycheck.  I’m just tired of it.  There is no challenge anymore, no real motivation to keep going back other than the sad little paycheck and the fact that I can’t really justify quitting.

I want to go back to writing full-time.  Eventually, I would miss having a regular job with a regular (sad little) paycheck.  I might also miss the social interaction, though I think I have enough friends to fill that void for awhile (or at least until they all get tired of me and I need to make new friends).  If I could somehow trade the sad little library paycheck for a regular writing paycheck (which would also be sad and little, of course), I could quit with a clear conscience.  Ahh… but there’s the problem.  Paychecks from writing require discipline (and talent and luck, but let’s start with discipline), which I seem to be sadly lacking these days.

So, for now, I return to the library… dreaming of a day when I can once again work in my pajamas and write for peanuts.

Posted by Kristina in Life

In the Palm of My Hand

Tuesday, April 13th, 2004 • No Comments on In the Palm of My Hand

I mentioned that I got my palm read last weekend when I was in DC, didn’t I?  Interesting experience.  A woman sitting on the sidewalk in front of her apartment building (which was on a street of residential and commerical buildings) in a plastic patio chair, wearing some bright house dress sort of thing with open-toed shoes and a fake fur coat that made her look like she was being attacked by a bear.  A very shiny, synthetic bear, but a bear nonetheless.  Clearly, this woman is a success in her field.  Oh my.

Anyway, for the low, low price of only five bucks, she read my palm.  Granted, Joe paid the five bucks (after getting not only his palm read but also a turn with the tarot cards), but I was skeptical.  Still am.  Not that I don’t believe there are people who can foretell the future… I do believe.  (Hallelujah)  I just have my doubts about women sitting on the sidewalk in bear coats.  Y’know?

So, what does my future hold?  Well… it was a mixed bag.  Here is what she told me:

—I will have a long life.

—I will be the head of a big company.  (This is so far from anything I’d ever want to do, I can’t imagine it.  Once she said this, I pretty much went into skeptical/sarcastic mode.)

—I like to travel.  (Well, duh.  I’m a tourist, I’m in DC, clearly I enjoy leaving home.)

—I have doubts and indecisions about the future.  (Of course!  I’m indecisive about whether to buy my bear coat in black or brown fake fur.)

—I will have one marriage. (I pointed out my wedding ring when she said, “I see one marriage” and said, “Of course you do, here it is.”  That did not win me points.)

—I will have two children.

—I will receive some good news between April 15th and 20th.

—My life is filled with good luck.  (I will not argue with this one.)

—2004 will be a lucky year for me.  (Here’s hoping.)

She said I have too many doubts in my mind, which apparently made it hard for her to read my future.  Joe had a more positive response, but I didn’t get to hear his card reading because she shooed me out of the room.  Guess I was casting too much bad energy on her work space.  Oh well.

Lucky in 2004.  That would be nice.  If I get good news in the next week, I may just have to go back to DC and apologize for being so skeptical.  And ask where she bought her bear coat.

Posted by Kristina in Life

It’s Good To Be Home

Tuesday, April 6th, 2004 • No Comments on It’s Good To Be Home

I had a great time in DC, and Joe and I have both returned to our respective homes unscathed and no worse for wear (though we may have killed a few brain cells Saturday night…).  Wish y’all could have been there with us.  On second thought, no I don’t.  I hate sharing a bathroom with even one


How did I spend my weekend, you ask?  Ahh…

I had a couple nice dinners with some of Joe’s friends—Saturday night it was at Logan Tavern (nice atmosphere, long wait, several yummy desserts we all shared and an excellent bottle of wine recommended by the fabulous waitress), Sunday night it was a French bistro,

the name of which I can’t remember—I looked it up—Bistrot du Coin (a lovely setting and a wonderful meal of ravioli in Swiss gruyere with a delicous sparkling house wine, but a snotty waitress) ; got my palm read (2004 is supposed to be lucky for me!  Wooo…); saw a couple hundred hot looking guys in a bar and not a single one of them was straight; danced and drank amongst the hot (and, in some cases, bare-chested) gay guys until my body started shutting down from lack of sleep; shopped, shopped, shopped—for walking shoes, a great new perfume, a beautiful red crystal necklace, lots o’ Lush!!—in Pentagon City, Georgetown and elsewhere and would have shopped more if I’d had more time; I drank tons of coffee and hot chocolate because it was ridiculously cold and windy for April; saw the cherry blossoms in bloom; visited the Phillips Collection, the Hirshhorn Museum and made a brief run around the National Gallery of Art (mostly the gift shop…); spent a considerable amount of time in traffic getting to the hotel after picking Joe up from Reagan National, which was fine because it gave us a chance to catch up; rode the Metro, walked and took a cab once I turned my keys over to the valet—which are the only

ways to get around DC because driving is frustrating; spent a relaxing evening watching Kill Bill  (a bizarre little flick); tried to visit the Spy Museum, but tickets had sold out; saw the White House, the Capitol and the Washington Monument—all from a distance; hit a few bookstores and Starbucks; and, most importantly, got to spend some quality time with an old friend.  Hopefully it won’t be another five years before we get to do it again.

Great weekend… but it’s nice to be home.

Posted by Kristina in Life

I'm a writer, editor, blogger, mama, wife and coffee lover.