Filed under: Rants and Raves

Good-good-good-bye Nivea

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 • No Comments

Dear Nivea:

I am tired of your “Goodbye Cellulite” commercial.  You know the one, with the hip-hop-like jingle droning “good-good-good-bye” and the bouncy young women (teenage girls, I think) in their short-shorts showing off tanned, cellulite-free thighs.  They are so very happy to be young and cellulite-free, they don’t even seem to mind that stupid song or realize they’ve bounced out of an Old Navy commercial and into a commercial for a product they don’t need.  Why?

You might want to read “Caution Cellulite: Bumpy Road Ahead.”  In this article, Paula Begoun notes:

As far as skin-care products for the body are concerned, the litany of options is mesmerizing. Yet there is almost no uniformity between formulas. It would appear, if the claims are to be believed, a wide variety of unrelated plant extracts can deflate or break down fat and/or restructure skin. Looking at the research, however, most articles suggest there is little hope that anything rubbed on the skin can change fat deposits or radically improve the appearance of cellulite.

As stated on your web page, the active ingredient in your Good-bye Cellulite Gel-Cream is L-Carnitine. 

According the the aforementioned article:

Carnitine
A naturally occurring amino acid, deficiencies of this small but essential component can result in muscle loss and a multitude of other problems. Research abounds for carnitine, especially acetyl-L-carnitine,which is considered to have more bioavailabilty in terms of it’s effect on aging and brain function. How this amino acid affects skin when applied topically is unknown.

So what does all this mean?

1.  First of all, most women (girls) under the age of 21 do not have cellulite. Therefore, the models in your commercial do not need your product.

2.  Most women (girls) who weigh less than 120 pounds do not have cellulite.  The models in your commercial do not need your product.

3.  Maybe your product “visibly reduces the appearance of cellulite.”  Maybe it doesn’t.  Most likely, the only thing that goes “good-good-good-bye” is your customers’ money when they buy your product.  I notice you do not say your product makes cellulite go “good-good-good-bye,” as that insipid song suggests.  “Visibly reduced” is not “gone.” 

4.  The fact that you depict women (girls) in your commercial who do not have any need for your product simply suggests you think your customers are idiots who believe they will turn into teenaged models upon spending their ten bucks for your gel-cream (and, really, make up your mind: is it a gel or is it a creaml?).  Granted, your product is far cheaper than many of the anti-cellulite products on the market, but that doesn’t excuse you.

5.  As far as I’m concerned, having Tyra Banks on your side does

not

increase your credibility.

6.  Plus, did I mention that song is annoying? 

Good-good-good-bye, Nivea.

Kristina Wright (and her cellulite)

Posted by Kristina in Rants and Raves
 

Good-good-good-bye Nivea

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 • 2 Comments

Dear Nivea:

I am tired of your “Goodbye Cellulite” commercial.  You know the one, with the hip-hop-like jingle droning “good-good-good-bye” and the bouncy young women (teenage girls, I think) in their short-shorts showing off tanned, cellulite-free thighs.  They are so very happy to be young and cellulite-free, they don’t even seem to mind that stupid song or realize they’ve bounced out of an Old Navy commercial and into a commercial for a product they don’t need.  Why?

You might want to read “Caution Cellulite: Bumpy Road Ahead.”  In this article, Paula Begoun notes:

As far as skin-care products for the body are concerned, the litany of options is mesmerizing. Yet there is almost no uniformity between formulas. It would appear, if the claims are to be believed, a wide variety of unrelated plant extracts can deflate or break down fat and/or restructure skin. Looking at the research, however, most articles suggest there is little hope that anything rubbed on the skin can change fat deposits or radically improve the appearance of cellulite.

As stated on your web page, the active ingredient in your Good-bye Cellulite Gel-Cream is L-Carnitine. 

According the the aforementioned article:

Carnitine
A naturally occurring amino acid, deficiencies of this small but essential component can result in muscle loss and a multitude of other problems. Research abounds for carnitine, especially acetyl-L-carnitine,which is considered to have more bioavailabilty in terms of it’s effect on aging and brain function. How this amino acid affects skin when applied topically is unknown.

So what does all this mean?

1.  First of all, most women (girls) under the age of 21 do not have cellulite. Therefore, the models in your commercial do not need your product.

2.  Most women (girls) who weigh less than 120 pounds do not have cellulite.  The models in your commercial do not need your product.

3.  Maybe your product “visibly reduces the appearance of cellulite.”  Maybe it doesn’t.  Most likely, the only thing that goes “good-good-good-bye” is your customers’ money when they buy your product.  I notice you do not say your product makes cellulite go “good-good-good-bye,” as that insipid song suggests.  “Visibly reduced” is not “gone.” 

4.  The fact that you depict women (girls) in your commercial who do not have any need for your product simply suggests you think your customers are idiots who believe they will turn into teenaged models upon spending their ten bucks for your gel-cream (and, really, make up your mind: is it a gel or is it a creaml?).  Granted, your product is far cheaper than many of the anti-cellulite products on the market, but that doesn’t excuse you.

5.  As far as I’m concerned, having Tyra Banks on your side does

not

increase your credibility.

6.  Plus, did I mention that song is annoying? 

Good-good-good-bye, Nivea.

Kristina Wright (and her cellulite)

Posted by Kristina in Rants and Raves
 

Flying Cars and Robot Nannies Will Be Next

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007 • No Comments

image  This is just too cool for words.  While Sheri was here, we watched a show about new gadgets and they profiled the new virtual keyboard.  We were talking about it tonight so I had to go look it up.  I’m sad to see the “limited Mac support” notation, but I guess I don’t really need a virtual keyboard when I already have a laptop. 

But still… I want one! 

Sometimes I think I might use voice-activated software if I had it, but mostly I just want to be able to plug directly into my brain and get all of the stories out.  I don’t think that particular gadget is coming anytime soon.

Posted by Kristina in Rants and Raves
 

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